Excerpt from: Introduction
For the record, I was born Ieasa Ann Nichols, and until now, I was certain that this would be the name that would follow me to my grave. See, throughout my journeys in life, I had convinced myself that I just was not the marrying kind --never was and never would be. As a child, I had been so badly damaged that I truly believed no one would be able to look beyond the visible scars to see who I really was. I thought that no one would take the time to peel away the layers of guilt, shame, hurt and distrust to uncover the beauty that lived within the beast. Up until now, I had found no man compassionate or patient enough to wait around and watch as the flower bloomed. The seasons of my life would come and go and with each passing moon, a bit of my hope would fade away.
For many years, I felt like a precious heirloom that had been delivered in a beaten-up old box and automatically assumed to be worthless and broken beyond repair. But my thinking was not that of my own. You see, a seed of worthlessness had been planted in me a long time ago, and it was the very people in my life who were supposed to love, cherish and nurture me that continued to water that seed; the very people for whom I'd reach out for in my time of need, the people who I had been bonded to by blood.
My singleness, however, had been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it allowed God to use me in whatever fashion he chose without interference, and a curse, because at times the enemy also used it to test my faith. So does this mean that I am not always in tune with God's perfect will for my life? Well, yes, I suppose it does. One thing that I've learned throughout my walk in life is that even those who are called righteous sometimes find themselves at a crossroad. Sometimes it's the very ones that God chooses that fall short and we all at times lose our way. However, I realize that these are the times when I myself must be steadfast and unmovable, consistently praying and petitioning God for guidance, for strength in my areas of weakness and for the endurance to withstand until the end.
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© 2005-2010 Ieasa Nichols-Harmon (Author House Publishing Co.)
